The Real Reason

by Maia Cowan

In a dazzling flash of inpiration, I suddenly realized why the Republicans are treating Clinton the way they do. Consider:

He's condemned for his sexual behavior by people who think it's excusable to have done the same things.
He's attacked, and then he's accused of having caused the attacks.
He's abused, and then he's expected to mollify his abusers by being submissive and obedient to them.
When he stands up for himself, his behavior is described in pejorative terms.
His actions are judged according to stereotypical expectations, and he's willfully misunderstood by people who want to keep him in a limited, powerless role.
He's blamed for anything bad that happens to himself or anyone else, and his achievements are either ignored or belittled.
His enemies claim that he's weak and sinful by nature. If his version of events differs from theirs, they insist he must be lying. They claim that he's weak and sinful by nature, and therefore can't be trusted with power.

The conclusion is unmistakable, bizarre as it may seem considering the specific accusations against him:

They think Clinton is a woman!

P.S. I love coincidences. The origin of "impeach" is a Norman French word for "embarrass." And today, when the full magnitude of the videotape's absolute failure to damage Clinton is becoming more and more apparent, is Elephant Appreciation Day.

Another note from Maia (12/3):

If the Republicans really are going to finish the impeachment hearings by the end of the year, they're going to need help. Since how they're going about this investigation obviously isn't producing the results they expected, maybe when they need is a better method. To help them figure out what they need to do, let's all send every Republican member of the House Judiciary Committee a fishing lure.

Read Laurie Mann's "An Important Discovery About Kenneth Starr & Linda Tripp!"

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